Just Roxanne.

ohana.



pa, mei and grandpa came to see me at pj today.
they arrived around evening and we went out to makan and shop after that.
in a short time, we roughly spent about 4 hours together.
but that's more than enough to make me realize how precious family time is.
when we bid goodbye a few minutes ago,
we stood at the gate, pa reminding me of the things that he says everytime.
mei stood by listening.
grandpa even came down from the car and kissed me by the hand.
the first time ever, he showed affection towards me.
it was so special.
we said our last goodbyes and i smiled to hide my urging tears.
hugged my little sister and off they went.
through the car windows, we were still waving goodbye.
the distance was safe enough for my tears to finally fall.
and the moment that i miss them the most is not when i don't get to see them,
but it's the moment of separation. 
when you get to see them everyday, you will not have the chance to feel it.
even for a short 4 hours,
i was thankful enough.


as i walked back to my room upstairs,
i opened the door to an empty room.
not empty in materials, but empty in warmth.
it was as if all the feeling of family coziness suddenly died down in that instant.
faced with no one, i saw the pile of things we just bought together.
the restocking of my basic daily needs.
and i realized how a room full of things that is supposed to satisfy you, can never ever mean as much as a room full of people that you love.
the short time we got to share, suddenly made the rest of my days that little bit more bearable.
and their hopes and joy for me, made me look to what is yet to come with a more hopeful smile.


but somehow, tears flowed down to smiling lips.
it was sweetness that i taste.
gratifying joy that overwhelmed.
my little heart was singing praises of songs on its own.
when He would send me angels in times of hecticness like this,
how can i stop from being thankful.


*warm cuddles*